PFSD Strikes Again!
By Sue Hyde, Director of Creating Change, February 13, 1:32 pm
Fellatio and attendant post-fellatio stress disorder (PFSD) have been big news lately.
First comes the Snickers mouth job: a couple of mechanics who would never make it into a Herb Ritts collection or on Brokeback Mountain go at a Snickers bar, each from his own end of the double-headed candy schlong, and end up in a lip lock.
Then good ole boy Rev. Ted Haggard (is he still a Rev.?) announces his successful completion of a three-week conversion program. He renounces wiener whistling forever, much to the amazement of his guy pal of three years.
PFSD can strike hard and fast, sending real men into a real tizzy and twirl of panic, denial, prevarication, and desperate grasping for whatever shreds of masculine distaste for giving brains that remain within them. The Snickers boys jumped around with alpha gorilla energy, charging and challenging each other to cleanse themselves after their carnal confection. Let’s not forget, though, that one of the alternative storylines has Mechanic £3 tossing his locks and asking to join in, obviously not fearful of PFSD or even F. The wrench version sucked, but love boat? That was funny and very subversive.
Rev. Ted, on the other hand, prostrates himself before his righteous top men and begs forgiveness if he forswears deepthroat. His personal Ex-Gay Presto Change-o Wizards pronounce him cured. No alternative ending for Ted... yet. Let’s all start betting pools organized around what date Ted will be discovered buying a round in a gay bar or getting pinched al fresco while getting a hummer. In the meantime, Rev. Ted “What, Me Like It?” Haggard will be whisked away to an undisclosed location in the Midwest where there are no Snickers bars to tempt him.
Hey, Ted, I’ll take a Cosmo!
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